So, did that car made you happy?
I didn’t believe in destiny. I was young and reckless. I did everything on my terms. Sometimes things went well. A lot of times things went terribly wrong and I had to clean up a lot of mess. What I hated the most about destiny or God was the idea that I can’t control my life. I can’t do everything that I want, I feel, I dread. Something in me was fighting hard against that. I wanted to be the general, not a just a soldier. I wanted to lead, not to follow!
Then I discovered some “self-help” books. You can do anything you want, Lead your life, Control your destiny, Sell anything to anybody, Live on your terms, Do anything you want. I liked those concepts. They were luring my passion for control. I tried a lot of that stuff. Most of the time it didn’t work. Sometimes it worked but things turned to dust pretty quickly. Or it went bad, dragging other parts of my life with it, bringing chaos and despair. It was the same cycle over and over again.
Do you have a good story about this?
We all know inside our heart what needs to be done. It’s a subtle force that’s pulling us in a new direction. And then there’s the familiar zone. The Zone. Our endless thoughts. Our fears. Our limitations. Our blah blah blah blah. The 10 million reasons why we don’t do what we want with all our heart to do. So we compromise for one more year. We make a pact with the devil. We play small. We bury our dreams. We forget our passions. We cage our soul. We break our own heart.
And everything goes on and on in the same direction for one day, one month and one more year. Same repetitive and soulless actions, same results, same old long days. The destiny seems cruel and uneven. Life gets boring and hard.
If I only was … .
Most of my life I felt the urge to do things. So I did. A lot of them. Talks, extreme skating, trips, associations, relationships, projects, businesses, radio shows, public speaking, events, conferences, gatherings, meetings, blogs, writing, starting a book, again projects, etc. And this went on and on until something happened. An unexpected event. An event that manifested both on exterior world and inside me at the same time. I realized that a lot of things that I did brought me and others a lot of unhappiness.
So I stopped for a moment.
The Internet is full of articles, books and videos on how you can become more creative. 7 steps, 2 secrets, one magic potion(good old snake oil) and so on. You want to become more creative? That’s great. I want too. Yet the hard thruth is you can’t become more creative! You can just make room for creativity to manifest through you. That’s a huge difference.
Ideas, inspiration and art are not your creation. You’re just a connector between the invisible world and the visible world. You receive a gift and pass it along.
The more you think and try to control the creativity process, the less creative you are. It’s like trying to catch a cat versus relax and let the cat come to you.
Don’t tell me you don’t have time for your dreams and passions. That’s the worst excuse ever. Are you working 3 jobs? Are you enslaved on a cotton field? Are you locked down in a dungeon like Count de Monte Cristo?
Offcourse you have time. But you’re also afraid. And the fear keeps you stuck. The fear keeps you locked. The fear wants you play it small. To play it safe. To stay away from the risks. To live in a bubble.
You don’t like what you do? But you do it anyway because you need to pay the bills? It turns out you’re not the only one. In USA alone, 52.3% of people are not happy with their jobs. And the number is growing.
I grew up in Eastern Europe, in Romania. If Americans are unhappy, wait to see us. I was 6 when the revolution hit the country. All my childhood and adolescence I lived in uncertainty.
To us, choosing a certain career it wasn’t about getting rich but surviving. At most, living a decent life. How can you pursue your passion in this environment?
Superstars. Athletes, singers, writers, gurus, philosophers, starlets, movie actors, billionaires.
We envy their careers, achievements, and lifestyle. Why not? The media praise them. Everybody looks at them with respect. They seem to have everything.
Most of us don’t have a direction in our lives. You don’t know what you want to do when you’re 10 or 15. Or you know and you do it. But ten years you may need to start from scratch.
Romantic LOVE. The final frontier. Even if everything else fails: businesses, friendships, hopes, dreams, careers, we’ll always have Romantic Love. The singularity point, the magic potion that will cure everything.
We grew up with this thinking deeply engrained in our brains. Most stories tell it so: after all the struggles, the boy gets the girl. After all the waiting, the girl gets the boy. And they live happily ever after.
Romantic Love is now one of the biggest obsessions in the world at this point.